Thursday, March 7, 2013

telling my husband: I'm going natural

One of the primary concerns when going natural is what your significant other is going to think. I know the feeling. I remember deciding how I was going to tell my husband. Prior to going natural, I wore a lot of wigs, weaves, and ponytail attachments. The only constant about my hair was that it was always changing.So I knew he wouldn't care that I was changing my hairstyle, but I also knew this was going to be a little different than the long straight weave I was wearing when I decided to go natural.


At the time I was still very unaware of what all 'going natural' meant. So before I said anything to him, I wanted to get some more information. I watched several YouTube videos and started reading blogs. I wanted a clear understanding of how to explain the process and an idea of the time frame that I was looking at for growing the damaged hair out of  my head. From this research I estimated that it would take about two years to transition to natural hair and arrive at the length I wanted. My initial length goal was chin length curly hair. I simply wanted hair that was curly from root to tip and that I could wear down. I thought that if I had just enough hair to get past that "in between" length, then that was all I needed. Armed with this goal and time frame I prepared to have a conversation with my husband.

 My husband is very visual and knowing this, I decided that the best way to explain what I wanted to do with my hair would be to show him a picture. So I pulled up some of the before and afters that had made think: "Wow, I can't believe how healthy and beautiful her hair looks and how much she was able to grow it out by going natural."

I told him I was going to make a change with my hair, I'm going to stop damaging it, and I'm going to allow it to grow out naturally. He looked at me with a blank stare of confusion, unaware that what I'd been doing to my hair was damaging it. (My husband is a very bright man, but women's hair is a topic he has no interest or information about). I held up my iPad, pointed to the photo on the screen and said "Look, she went from this to this". Then explained that I was planning to grow my hair out and I used the word curly, because while he may not have had a point of reference for what it meant to go natural, he understood the difference between straight and curly hair.

He nodded, then asked "Are you going to cut off all your hair?" I told him that I wasn't, I was planning to become natural by allowing my hair to grow out.

I know that not all husbands or boyfriends are accepting of natural hair (but MANY are!). So I'm very grateful for the support my husband has shown as I transitioned. Even on days when I was frustrated and very unsure of this "new" way that I was styling my hair, he never said one negative thing, and continued to complement and support me.


How did you tell your significant other you were going natural?

1 comment:

  1. Aw girl you look beautiful and with natural beauty! I just came across your blog and I'm your newest follower :) Would you mind checking out our blog & if you like, following back via GFC and Bloglovin'? Looking forward to your next post! xx

    sixthtractate.blogspot.com

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